File this dispatch under: RANT.
Today, I received a tongue lashing from a parent because I classified humans as "Animals" during a Junior High science lecture. The lecture was an attempt to explain the various sub-fields of scientific inquiry: physical science, life science, earth science and applied science. My attempt was to distinguish between the realms of physical science (inanimate science) and life science (animate science). Life science, I explained, has many sub-specialties: biology, botany, zoology, medicine, ecology, etceteras. Biology, I continued, is usually divided into animal biology and plant biology, and additionally, single-cell biology. Needless to say, the student was surprised to find out that scientifically, humans are classified as animals. Unlike plants, humans eat, digest and defecate and are highly mobile. Humans possess specialized animal organs and tissues. Humans do not normally photosynthesize. A straight-forward classification, so I thought.
Little did I know, that since the mid-14th century, secular humanism has been running rampant in our public education system. Of course I knew about Thomas Hobbs, John Locke, Niccolo Machiavelli and Adam Smith...and of course I knew about the tumultuous period known as the Elightenment...but, I obviously I was unaware of the rampant secular humanist conspiracy to take over the minds of our youth. Perhaps I was wrong to suggest that of course, since our US Constitution was prefaced and based upon these heretical secular humanist philosophies, than it only made sense that our entire public education system was nothing more than a shady humanistic sham intended to sway unsuspecting young minds into the satanic fold of the Evolutionary Darwinists. As Huxley once said: "you pays your money, and you takes your chances."
Perhaps our publicly funded education systems should teach church doctrine. The confusing part for me will be deciding which church I'm supposed represent. I like what the Catholic doctrine has to offer, maybe I should teach that. No wait, perhaps the shamanistic Native American religions have a more invigorating viewpoint, I'll try that. Or, better yet, perhaps the State can guide my decision, the State could definitely decide which doctrine would be best for me to teach. I mean, heck, they already decided that I should teach the secular humanist heresy, right?
The point is, that perhaps our Constitution represents something more than a simple piece of paper I use to justify my personal positions and philosophies in life. Perhaps it serves as a sort of criterion intended to governs the machinations of a "free" nation. Then again, perhaps the founding father's were nothing more than money-grubbing-secular-humanist-proto-Darwinists-lying-in wait-to-devour-our-God-fearing-Cotton-Mather-Puritan-souls.
2 comments:
S'il vous plait, excusez-moi mon francais, mais:
Fuck that dumb ass fundamentalist bitch!
D.P. quit yer bitchin'
Don't you think it's kind of funny that she complained about being an animal? Maybe she'd feel better being a plant.
You get several months of vacation every year, and you no longer have to wait on slobs to finish their meals in order to get paid.
Oh yeah, you also get the opportunity to provide brief moments of insight (ala Mr. Ridge) to kids who might otherwise grow up dumb.
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